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Humor -- Borrowing Gear
written by Michael Burch

Twenty-five simple excuses for when your buddy's gear attain some "character marks."
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"If you can think of a better way to scrape off barnacles, then lets hear it!"

Let's face it -- gear is expensive.  That's why it's good to have friends with gear, especially the ones that will let you borrow from them.  Sometimes the forces of nature are against you and things get broken (it's never our fault).  But that's okay; I once dropped a friend's Remington 1100 out of a speeding duck boat and had him convinced it was his fault because he was driving too fast.  If this sounds familiar to you, here are some excuses that you can use the next time your buddy's gear get some "character marks". 

"Your tent needed some ventilation anyway."
 "Did our forefathers use scopes? Then neither should we."
"Bullet holes are very aerodynamic."
"Your GPS unit has a virus."
"swore you told me it was a climbing treestand."
"That fish scale was a liar, and you know it." 
"I thought your ATV was an automatic."
"Of course my deer scratched your paint job; mine had horns!"
 "It was moving! You didn't you tell me you bought a mechanical decoy!"
"I guess if you don't want to warn other fishermen of nearby trees, then you just keep casting your lures in the water."
SNAP!  "Really -- That was a branch I stepped on."
Well, I didn't know that your precious $2,000 double-barreled, laser-guided, heat-seeking shotgun wouldn't float!"
"So you weren't serious when you told me to treat your equipment like it was my own?"
"I guess you were right. That limb bolt didn't need another turn."
"Look on the bright side. In a couple of years the vehicle will make a great fish attractor."
"What do you mean Sterno? That's vegetable shortening."
"You're telling me you spent all that money on that fine Weatherby rifle, and it won't eat regular shells?"
"Seventy grains of FFg? I thought you said 70 grams!" 
"They just don't waterproof fine binoculars like they used to." 
"Don't worry. By the end of the season, that Tinks #69 smell in your truck will be long gone."
"Your bow looked to be pulling a mite to the left, so I adjusted it for you."
"Believe it or not, a shorter bamboo fly rod is actually easier to cast."
"Why would you let me borrow something that expensive in the first place?"
"Scratches? No, those are character marks.  You don't want to look like some rookie hunter do you?"
"So I lost one of your two-way radios, big deal; what did you need two of them for anyway?" 
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